


Soulmate Problems

by DepressedSushiRoll



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Craig doesn't remember Kenny dieing, Gore, I hate this but my friend demands it so here we are, Life as Kenny's soulmate is very stressful, M/M, One Shot, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, only the flowers, stripe is written as an actual guinea pig, super short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23192944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressedSushiRoll/pseuds/DepressedSushiRoll
Summary: Whenever someone is injured, their soulmate has flowers were the injury was. For Craig, it was the most stress-inducing thing he's ever dealt with. It only annoyed him when they were just gone the next day, but when it looked like daily suicide, he started to get scared.Super short. I hate it but my friend asked so I obliged.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker
Comments: 1
Kudos: 100





	Soulmate Problems

Everyone knew the rules of how soulmates work. Flowers would bloom from your body whenever their soulmate was injured. The severity of the injury would change what kind of flowers would appear. Small buds for minor scrapes and bruises, to large bouquets for the more intense injuries.

It didn’t bother most people. Usually an occasional bud for a bruise or cut. Occasionally a broken bone would cause a vine of petals.

Craig’s, on the other hand, was the most stress-inducing person on the planet. He would walk past a reflective surface to see an insane flower arrangement just for it to be gone the next morning. Sometimes it would look like he was beheaded, sometimes ran over, others like he was ripped limb from limb. When he woke up the next day, nothing.

The craziest part was when he brought it up with his friends, none of them knew what he was talking about. How could no one remember an arrangement that looks gruesome? Things that were so gnarly that his soulmate could have been burnt alive?

But it wasn’t until he saw huge roses, in the position of what had to be suicide by gunshot, for daily for three weeks in a row that he decided enough was enough. What was wrong with them? Why did it look like they were killing themselves every day? Why did they come back daily? More importantly, why has no one realized any of this?

Craig wasn’t a fan of who he was going to ask for help. As much as he hated Stan and those guys, they were the ones to help him find someone who could be anywhere. 

Finding the four was almost never hard. All people really had to do was listen for Kyle and Cartman screaming and fighting. Sure enough, he found the four of them in the boy's bathroom while Kyle and Cartman were out for blood.

“Hey I need your guys help with something,” Craig said, as the bathroom shut behind him.

“Why would you ask us for help?” Stan asked. “You never want us around you.”

It was true. He couldn’t stand those assholes.

“Because if anyone can find someone in the world that we don’t know it’s you dumb asses.”

“Who are you calling a dumb ass?” Cartman yelled.

Craig just rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

“Listen, weird shit has been going on with my soulmate. It’s been that way since first grade and I’m honestly getting pissed off with how annoying it is,” he explained, not letting on that he was concerned about anyone other than Stripe.

“How the hell would we help you find someone when we don’t even know who they are?” Kyle asked. “Why not ask Clyde, Jimmy, Tweek, and Token?”

“Because the four of you are always the ones who have weird shit happen to them,” Craig responded, getting really annoyed now. Didn’t he already explain this?

The four looked at each other. Couldn’t deny that one. Everyone knew they were a magnet for bazaar shit.

Kenny got up from his place on the gross floor and was about to say something when, as if on cue, the light bulb above him broke in half. It fell, spearing Kenny through the neck, sending blood everywhere. Meanwhile, flowers burst from Craig’s neck. He stood in shock at the realization.

There was a small panic in the bathroom as they got the principle. Craig had no recollection of what happened afterward. Kenny was his soulmate? The search was easier than expected but now he was dead. He died right in front of him. But the flowers in the past had disappeared the next morning. Did this mean that Kenny had died before but came back to life? He’d remember something like that! Right?

These were the thoughts that plagued Craig that night while trying to sleep. Between these thoughts and the gruesome image from earlier, he just couldn’t shut his mind off.

Craig focused on the sound of Strip running his cage like a lunatic. Usually, the sound of “ass on fire time”, as Jimmy called it, would keep awake, but tonight it seemed to do the trick.

The next morning Craig woke up to the sound of Stripe wheeking at god only knows what, demanding food. His best guess was that Tricia decided to eat chips for breakfast and he heard the bag from downstairs. Craig sighed before getting up and trying to pet the guinea pig.

Of course, Stripe ran into his hide so Craig went to his bedroom mirror and saw the flowers on his neck were now gone.

“How the fuck does whoever my soulmate is heal so damn fast?”


End file.
